The "Miss" Desperate for the "Mrs"

Few weeks ago I eavesdropped on two fresh-looking young men talking about their personal lives at a bus stop. It felt good to be feeding my ears while I waited for my bus. I mean nothing sounds better than listening to two drop dead gorgeous and fluent Nigerian men holding a proper conversation. I got carried away with the manner in which they spoke and the scent of an exotic fragrance oozing from their direction. However distracted I was, I was more sad than shocked at the statement made by one of the dark eye candies. He said with a shrug "There's no rush my brother...I've bought the ring already and I know she's been longing for it...she would have to be crazy not to accept my proposal...she should wait jare...who knows, I might find someone better". They chuckled and ran to catch their bus.
I pondered on that statement and it made me realise how easy ladies make it for our dear men.

I have always believed that it is more profitable to love someone genuinely without a hidden agenda or wanting something in return. Some ladies will go an extra mile or tolerate the unthinkable to save a relationship because they want the end result to be marriage. Hence they get disappointed because of the things they had to do/give up in the process. That is a story for another day but it is sad to think that in a woman's book every relationship must lead to marriage. That explains why most men are scared of commitments.

Being in a relationship with someone is not a guarantee that you will end up married to that person. For this reason, a woman should enjoy, appreciate and learn from her relationships. It should not be an avenue to settle for less rather an opportunity to be certain of what she feels for that special man and to decide if what she shares with him is worth having for the rest of her life. The ring or promises should not be the determining factors of a life with her man. It should be based mostly on her feelings and judgements.
Men will always say "there are a lot of fishes in the river" forgetting that there are sharks, wastes and left overs as well. A woman should not deprive herself of the right to choose who she wants to spend the rest of her life with. Above all, she should not settle for less.

If you are a "Miss" desperate to be his "Mrs" its only fair that he's desperate to be your "Mr"

Writer - Loretta Okpuno

Editor - Sophi Oduyale

Discover You

"Discover You" is all about knowing who you are. I like to think that self discovery is proportional  to growth. It involves having a mind of your own and having certain principles that make you stand out. People often say self discovery comes with age but what's the use of age without experience?
Sometimes we don't get the best for ourselves because we try to get what others are getting for themselves. We often make the mistake of trying to talk, live, and be like others forgetting that there's nothing as easy as being yourself because all you do will come to you naturally. This is why each individual is unique and abandoning your uniqueness is great injustice to yourself.

Discovering oneself is not the easiest of things. Sometimes it requires you to go through tough situations....sometimes you will have terrible encounters. On the journey to self discovery you may lose friends, positions once occupied and you may even feel like you've wasted years. Whatever the case may be, once you have discovered who you are you become happier, focused, fulfilled and above all, a better person.

A very close friend used to say "know ya sef...e no be crime" (know yourself...it is not a crime). We usually laughed whenever she said it. over time I understood the gravity of that statement. You cannot be apologetic for who you are. You can't apologise for standing for what you believe in, you should't be sorry for living by your principles and above all you owe no one an explanation for being you and expressing it as long as its acceptable in the eyes of God.

Have you ever wondered why certain people are stereotyped and others are classified as unique...exceptional....

We are flowers quickly fading...here today and gone tomorrow. Be yourself and enjoy every bit of it.

Loretta Okpuno